The Dog Problem – Dhylan Patel

A bright and bouncy bounding ball

My name is Dhylan Patel, I am 16 years old and I attend The Latymer School, Edmonton. Currently I am studying English Literature A level (alongside triple science). Poetry is one of my biggest passions and the poem I have submitted is intended as comical: the message should not be misinterpreted as provocative or angry. It addresses some of my earliest childhood memories around dogs in which I was chased through parks on numerous occasions. I do not hate dogs but I do believe their owners ought to be more responsible.

The Dog Problem

Eager and excitable,

Endlessly delectable,

Loyal to the very end,

Rightfully a man’s best friend,

A bright and bouncy bounding ball,

Attentive to your every call,

Inquisitive, intelligent,

With empathy and sentiment.

Dreamy, round and soulful eyes,

A loving heart: tender, wise,

Fur which shimmers as a jewel,

A muzzle glazed in moisture cool.

Since this viewpoint was conceived, 

Most mankind have been deceived,

The friendliness which you perceive,

Is what they want you to believe.

Let’s start again: the honest way,

Ignoring lies that people say,

Tear away the fake facade, 

Reveal the truth: cold and hard.


First of all: the antipasti,

Consider all the mess,

Sewage strewn across the street,

A bog of brown no less. 

And why excuse our canine ‘friend’,

From cuts to meat intake,

Breeding, feeding animals,

To die for our pet’s sake?

There seems to be a motif, 

Double standards if I may,

Dogs pollute and vandalise,

For which they never pay.


For mains we’ll have aggression,

Your pooch is born to hunt, 

Only its domestication,

Turned sharpened instincts blunt.

It sees you and thinks caribou,

Its still a wolf inside,

But its too fat to get you,

So it sets that thought aside.

Why does the chihuahua snarl?

Why does the mastiff bite?

You fool! It isn’t friendliness,

This thug just wants to fight.


For dessert we’ll take the owners,

Who must accept some blame,

For releasing sewage monsters,

Whose bowels they cannot tame.

They pick a dog they cannot handle,

Disproportional in size,

Whilst cluelessly they amble,

It starts to terrorise.

When at last they turn around, 

They choose to feign surprise,

You don’t like that barking sound,

Or saliva on your thighs?

Sure- they make good company,

They run around I grant,

They do a lot like make a mess,

But nothing people can’t.

Why must we keep such creatures?

They’re wild after all,

Though tameable and trainable,

They can’t obey your call.

Wouldn’t dogs prefer their freedom?

That’s how they have evolved,

Living peacefully and separately,

Helps all parties involved.

Dhylan Patel

Did you enjoy this poem? Why not visit Maggie’s website at: Maggie’s Centre Nottingham to find out more about their exceptional work and/or make a donation. Do you have a poem you would like to submit to Voices? Feel free to do so by email at: or via the ‘Contact’ page on this site.

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