Left Behind – Jaydene Ming

Will he ever find his way back?

My name is Jaydene Ming. I am 17 year old college student currently studying English literature, law and sociology. I have aspirations to further study English at a university level. Hopefully you enjoy this poem as this is the first I have written.

Left behind
By Jaydene Ming

Happiness is a hopeful fantasy.
You can’t truly be happy.
If you can why doesn’t it last?
But to be sad it permeates throughout my life like a blanket of ice.

Disconnecting me from the world
I no longer belong for I am broken.

There were once ‘men’ I knew
Perhaps my father or my lover.
They both left me. Lonely.
There once profound presence haunts me In that translucent whiskey bottle.
In that smoke from that death machine. I can’t escape this sorrow.
For I am broken.

Once filled with light, filled with dark.
I am dim , no longer a spark.
For I am broken by the mischief
Which resided within there heart.
These deceivers have made me a receiver. Yes, indeed now I am a non-believer.
Can I be fixed?

I reminisce over the past and it’s unfulfilled promises.
My soul has been taken twice by them. The first time:
It went from Daddy’s little girl
To the girl with the daddy issues. Now A permanent residence of nothingness Tucks me under the covers.

Surrounded by this beckoning darkness,
Will he ever find his way back?
Arrived here is nighttime but no one to greet it with once favoured fairytales as that man is gone. Never to return.
Leaving me open to succumb to the reality and the nightmares of this world.
Death is the fate of my innocence for I am broken.

The second time:
Battered by the harsh reality of tragedy
An outlet of escape was what I was searching for. Now I can say my hearts mission was completed.
That void was now temporarily filled by a sense of security through his big arms.
He was my healer. Never to last.
Slowly but surely unwrapping me of his
Protection I became poorly.
I didn’t realise but
I was getting replaced by another.
Will I recover for now I always wear a cover.
A facade of sorts I carry to bare a shield
Of indestructible concealed emotions.
Defeated. Now I am truly broken.

Jaydene Ming

Did you enjoy this poem? Why not visit Maggie’s website at: Maggie’s Centre Nottingham to find out more about their exceptional work and/or make a donation. Do you have a poem you would like to submit to Voices? Feel free to do so by email at: voicespoetry@outlook.com or via the ‘Contact’ page on this site.

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