I’m an amphibian, cold-blooded; I just forget it sometimes.

I am a seventeen-year-old student, journalist, and aspiring poet. I use poetry to explore the full range of colours and sounds of the human experience; I delve into the topics that scare me most. I hope my poem finds a home in each reader.
Amphibian
Healing is a lake, and it’s a cold November day.
I feel the sand part beneath me as I stand on that border,
That static purgatory of liminality makes me shiver
Preemptively; I can’t dive in.
–
I feel the water steal the warmth of my brave toes;
Frightened, I recoil like a grasshopper, springing back onto solid ground.
The perpetual, vast wetness is the stillest whirlpool I’ve ever seen.
Still,
The anchorage of hope tugs me in,
Unwilling.
–
The torso is the worst part;
In feverish anticipation of the icy pain that begets the numbness,
I hesitate, searching for hands to pull me in.
The only hand that grabs back is my reflection.
–
The sky fills my ears and the clouds enter my lungs as I reteach myself how to
Breathe.
I’m an amphibian, cold-blooded; I just forget it sometimes.
–
I’m spinning upside-down in water or air,
Head hit by an asteroid, feet throbbing, disoriented.
Am I flying, or am I simply surrounded by the damp, frosty reflection Of the blotted sky?
–
I wish I could jump in the cerulean water head-first,
But for now, I’m taking tentative steps into the unknown,
Drowning until I believe I can swim.
Healing is a lake, and one day I will be the Loch Ness Monster.
Laura Boyle
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