The Guilt of a Mother – Michelle Fitzgerald

The tears began to drown me

I would like to share a piece with you as I feel that some other woman or even men who have been through the same, may be able to relate and realise they’re not alone in their feelings. This along with a few others I have written, are done so from my perspective.

Thank you for your submission Michelle – we appreciate this.

The Guilt of a Mother

The guilt of a mother

Whose baby was not meant to be

Is a feeling indescribable

a feeling felt by me

I labelled myself a failure

The anger raged through my soul

How could I let this happen

How come I didn’t know

The tears began to drown me

My thoughts ate through my bones

Gnawing away at me

Looking for answers still unknown

Maybe if I had better posture

Or lost a bit of weight

What if I hadn’t have worked that shift

Would the result still be the same

The day that I lost you

Haunts me all the same

I’m a failure as a mother

I flushed you away

No burial or memorial

No goodbye or I love you dear

No little pot of ashes for me to hold and

Keep you near

The guilt runs through me

I feel it in my veins

Like little pulses of electric

Reminding me of that day

I shall never forget you

And love you forever more

I’m sorry I wasn’t a good enough mother

To grow you until you were born.

As you’re due date approaches

The pain burns me through to my soul

My little precious bundle

I’ll never have to hold

Michelle Fitzgerald

Did you enjoy this poem? Why not visit Maggie’s website at: Maggie’s Centre Nottingham to find out more about their exceptional work and/or make a donation. Do you have a poem you would like to submit to Voices? Feel free to do so by email at: or via the ‘Contact’ page on this site.

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