From Death to Re-Birth – Brian Maloney

I may not be perfect, but at least I have a line

From Death to Re-birth

People die, most people will lie, even to their own blood,

Excuses rife, selfishness in life,

I know I am not innocent and I always feel the floods.

I may not be perfect, but at least I have a line.

Money and gain, control and pain,

Sick of everyone, being the same.

Manipulation is getting to me,

It’s taking over my head,

All I want to feel for a while, is peace and love instead.

Through all of this in disbelief,

You slay me with your grief.

The dark clouds that dizzily plague my mind,

Pulsating tempers that consistently flare,

Stress of the weight upon I, who longs to be kind,

The anger, the frustration, yes, they dance and dare.

Happiness drops by from time to time,

Pushed away by the hands of the crime.

Fire still blazing the salt water runs,

From the heart to the ocean tide,

The sun sets, the full moon comes,

I used to take this in my stride,

What is it – we have become?

The children weep for they are not blind,

You never know what they might find.

My decision to cease the battle cry,

Shows the truth, you try to hide,

I swallow words and phrases that burn,

When will I ever have my turn.

The stone and sand, the blue skies too,

A good example would be a shoe.

Seriously, quickly, my point is quashed,

Along with my trust, your cold hearts frost,

You always underestimate the cost.

For days we smile and enjoy the freedom,

The castle painted, the sun and golden sand,

Opinions changed with holding hands.

Smiles and thunderous lessons on repeat,

I will never admit defeat.

Organised mind, most of the chaos has left,

Love once again beats in my chest,

I swear to never travel this sour road again,

Still you underestimate my pain,

This never ending childish game,

It’s not all your fault, I will never be the same.

I chose to rise again like a phoenix!

I chose to stand right by your side,

I chose to trust and do what’s right,

I chose to never start the fights.

I chose to be like nature – re-born,

I chose myself, so sound the horn,

My battle cry was all but heard,

But still I walk your way,

I swear to be there, from this day,

You couldn’t tell, you never could,

Your opinion of me, brutally misunderstood.

The time has come to fly back to the nest,

Now time will show me, the true test.

At first it’s fine, it’s all in place,

Before the fall of the mask, from your heart and face.

The calm before the storm, I know it all too well,

How did I know, oh how you fell,

I aimed for peace, I aimed for health,

I almost aimed for someone else,

But strength and honour are my wealth.

This poisoned cycle returns again, deep it sinks into my breaking heart,

I transform, you repeat, subconsciously, pulling me apart.

Now the question, with peace in mind,

Where do I go and what will I find?

Karma will pay, it always does,

Stuck with hate, eternal love.

You will be bitter, this I know,

Will I even get to see my children grow?

Three innocent souls and this I see,

This was always meant to be,

My waking dream, of fear and hope,

Has this all been one big joke?

This future is now, in ether it’s written,

This could be anyone’s decision,

Be it you or I, we will all suffer,

You remind me of your mother,

Identity where, it has it’s cost,

The love you had, but now is lost,

I remember vividly, the love, the pain,

But I my dear, will never be the same,

Neural pathways you can’t control, disassociate from feelings,

You nearly drove me insane, again! It’s time to say goodbye again!

Neural pathways you can’t control, destroy my loving feelings,

There is no cohesion, or reasoning, between your mouth, and brain

Brian Maloney

Thank you to Brian for his entry to our competition and blog. Brian is a passionate poet and is a great lover of art, music and photography. We really appreciate his decision to share his poetry with us.

Did you enjoy this poem? Why not visit Maggie’s website at: Maggie’s Centre Nottingham to find out more about their exceptional work and/or make a donation. Do you have a poem you would like to submit to Voices? Feel free to do so by email at: voicespoetry@outlook.com or via the ‘Contact’ page on this site.

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